Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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