Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
