Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
