apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
