I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
