So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
