And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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