Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
