he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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