No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
