Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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