I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
