i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
