I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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