My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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