I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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