How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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