VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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