Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
