He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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