I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
