Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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