You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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