some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
