just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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