I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
