I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
