party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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