I bet he comes in French.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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