I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
