Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
