So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
