If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
