What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
