TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
