i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
