I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
