She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
