Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
