I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
