just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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