If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
