tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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