I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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