Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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