I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
