I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
