Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
