i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
