I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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