So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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