At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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