i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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