Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
